Wally Lamb Books -attempt number two

Apparently my last blog entry that I wrote about this did not end up on my actual blog, so now I will try again!

I Know This Much Is True.

1.  The insight this book gave me was that of a sibling that has to deal with the effects of his brother's illness for the entirety of his life.  Being a sibling to that of a mental ill person must be the most difficult thing.  I know that my ex-boyfriend had a lot of mental issues that he refused to get help with, and that caused a lot of stress on our relationship.  Now, his mental illness was not what pushed us apart, but with a sibling or family member you are tied to them forever and the stress will be a constant in your life.  It is amazing to me the ways that Dominick learned to deal with his brother, even after many years he learned a lot of new things.

2.  I think one of the most prevalent themes in this book is perseverance. Dominick, despite all of his outrages and Thomas' episodes, he never gives up.  Most of the fuel that causes his perseverance is the fact that he thinks that this is all his fault.  He believes he started Thomas' schizophrenia because of the beatings Thomas got when Dominick made Ray angry.  As Dominick grows and learns more about schizophrenia and his life with his brother in general he learns how to deal with the ups and downs of Thomas' life along with his own.  Dominick struggles with more than just Thomas though, he struggles with learning to deal with his own emotions in relation to his mother, Ray, and Thomas. Dominick shows a lot of perseverance in that he continues to learn new ways to deal with his own emotions, such as seeing a therapist.  Although Dominick goes through some serious life changes, such as the death of his mother, and the eventual death of Thomas, he perseveres throughout live to be able to live a true and happy life in the end of the book.

Another place where I think Dominick shows perseverance is when he is trying so hard to get Thomas out of the "Hatch."  He knows that Thomas hates it in there, and he wants to do well by his brother.  Dominick does everything he possibly can to get Thomas out of there and back to his life with friends and a job.  I think that guilt has a lot to do with his persistence as well, because he always pointed the finger at Thomas when he would do something wrong, because he knew that Ray would believe him.

I think that Dominick handled Thomas' illness as well as anybody with a schizophrenic brother would handle it.  I can't imagine dealing with something like that every single day of my life. It truly makes you count your blessings.

Serial killers

It is interesting to me to think of serial killers as mental illness, but it makes perfect sense. Someone who kills innocent people has to have something wrong with them.  The problem with these people is that they don't understand that anything is wrong with them. Serial killers don't have a "moral compass" that tells them right from wrong, and I think that it is so interesting to read about how they think.

Alcoholism.

Alcoholism is a serious disease that has hit close to my family.  My great Aunt is a recovering alcoholic and had abandoned her two kids because she was too drunk to take care of them. In the end she had gotten her life together and is making ammends, but her journey was a struggle.  Reading this book with that background helped me understand what Junior and his friend Rowdy were going through. Even if your parent is around while drinking, they aren't really present. Arnold struggled with his father running away from his problems, but Rowdy's father beat him. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I had to deal with that every day. It would be an entirely new experience from dealing with my family as they are now.

Realization.

While reading this book I came to the realization that life is beautiful. The life that I live in brings so much peace and blessings and yes, it may be tough at times but I will always know that God has put both me and Lori on this earth for great purposes.

God has blessed me with a family who loves me and a mind that is my own. I can't imagine living a life where I couldn't control my thoughts or actions. I can honestly say that reading about Lori and her struggle through her sickness made me look closer at my own life and how I value the little things.

I have already recommended this book to my cousin, who is suffering with depreasion and thoughts of suicide. She was recently hospitalized because a boy she barely knew threatened to kill himself if she didn't hang out with him and do stuff with him. Everything is now under control, but being a 15 year old girl who's friend had recently committed suicide, she had no idea how to handle herself. I love her and care for her so much, and I hope she soon can find some peace and comfort just as Lori has.

I just try to remember that God is good, life is beautiful, and I just have to enjoy the little things.

Mental Illness

What do I know about mental illness? In my opinion I know more than I would like to know about a few types of mental illness.  Depression, anxiety, and others have been a part of my family for my entire life.  I am not exactly sure what I would call what my mom has, maybe a mixture of a lot of things, but I can assure you that it is not a fun or easy thing to deal with, for nobody in my family.  When I was younger I didn't understand that most parents don't act the way my mother did when she got upset or angry, but as I grew up I realized the way she treated my sister especially was not "normal" in a sense. I love my mother, of course, but growing up with her gave me a whole new view of the world and how I wanted to act as an adult, and especially when I would become a wife.  My parents marriage fell apart because my mother refused to take control of her mental illness and only tried to use it as an excuse for the way she acted.  There is only so much people around you can do if you refuse to seek help. 

When I got old enough to realize how to deal with my mother and her illness, I began to sacrifice things so that I wouldn't set her off.  This strategy made my home life more pleasant, but my social life suffered.  I am almost 21 years old now, with a boyfriend that my mother refuses to accept because she sees parts of herself in him.  I wouldn't trade my mother for anyone and I love her deeply, which makes it easy to love someone who may have a fraction of the problems that she struggles with.  I have talked to counselors and doctors to try to figure out ways to deal with my mother and her "quirks," but reading about other mental illnesses and watching them on television and in the movies makes me realize that even though my mother may be stressful and hard to deal with sometimes, I am lucky to have a mother who is always my m other.  She does not need constant care, and she has never physically hurt me because of her illness.

No matter what mental illness I encounter with my family or friends, I know that I will be blessed to have them in my life.